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Marriage prep bootcamp: negotiating a prenup

Putting a pre-nuptial agreement together causes almost inevitable tension on a couple about to embark on a lasting relationship, but there are ways of taking the stress out, says Joanna Harrison

14 May 2019

It’s that moment where he gets down on bended knee, puts his hand in his pocket and pulls out… a pre-nuptial agreement – otherwise known as a real corker of a passion killer. 

Cut swiftly to the family lawyers and there is a huge pressure on them when faced with negotiating a prenup.

On the one hand they have to negotiate a serious agreement with potentially serious consequences, while on the other they have to cultivate positive feelings about an impending marriage. 

It’s a very hard act for a lawyer to pull off and a situation which could really be helped by bringing a relationship counsellor into the process, perhaps even before the legal negotiations start.

If there is a separate therapeutic space for the couple to think through and detoxify some of what has to be done in the legal sphere, then the lawyers can actually get on with the job of negotiating the agreement.

I suggest that solicitors be frank with their c...

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